This or that or that.

During my retreat (which I will talk about in another post eventually) last Thursday, I finally found out whether or not I passed the UPCAT. Unfortunately, there was no room for a Dominique Esguerra. My heart broke and the high hopes I had were crushed.

But oh well, c’est la vie. I guess one of the things I realized during that retreat is that passing or failing a college entrance test doesn’t define you. Yes, I was really hoping to get into my family’s (or at least most of my family’s) alma mater and yes, I really really really did want to play football for the Lady Maroons but hey, I still passed two other universities and so I really can’t complain.

We’re going to make an appeal to see if there’s a chance that I can get in still. However, now that I’m done waiting and checking and celebrating/crying over the results, I’m beginning to think twice about where I’m going to go from here.

I honestly did want to go to Ateneo as well. La Salle, too, but mostly (if not only) because I like the courses they offer and the course I passed.

See, if I make an appeal to UP Diliman and become successful in doing so, I’ll be incredibly happy. Then again, I’ll be incredibly scared as well. I will be honest here. I am not fluent at all in what is supposed to be my mother tongue but isn’t, Tagalog. Everyone warns me that I will struggle because I’m an Inglesera  or however you spell it.

They tell me, not only will I struggle with academics because the professors do in fact teach in Filipino but I would also struggle socializing with my peers because not everyone who studies in UP comes from a background like mine.

I feel this is true to a certain point and I am not sure how I’m going to go about it once I get there.

If I’m not successful in getting into UP, I still have Ateneo as my second choice and it’s not a bad thing at all. Heck, when it comes to Ateneo, I don’t feel as scared as I am about UP. Yeah sure, college is college no matter where you go but I still have a sense of comfort knowing that I already know a few people already in as well as going to Ateneo. Not only that, I won’t suffer so much with my incapability of speaking in Tagalog.

As for La Salle. I just really like the course, okay. International freaking Studies. Howeeeever, I’m not really thinking much about going there. Although it wouldn’t be so bad either.

Ateneo or UP (if I manage to get in even after failing the UPCAT)? La Salle or UP (if I manage to get in even after failing the UPCAT)? Ateneo or La Salle?

I hate this.

Long post: Happy

I am pumped. I am excited. Despite all the stress and anxiety I’ve been feeling since the first week of school after the Christmas break began, I’ve actually had a great week last week and I probably will this week.

Firstly, a couple of months back I took three college entrance exams to three of the top universities here (those being University of the Philippines, Ateneo and La Salle. and yes those are ranked in order of my preference).

I was more or less excited to see whether or not I passed. I mean, if I was pretty sure I would have passed at least one. Otherwise I would have thrown away the money and time we spent on my being driven all the way up north to Katipunan and my being reviewed almost every lesson in the high school curriculum.

Now, supposedly the La Salle results were to come out on January 3 but it apparently did not. Everyone started saying, “Oh, maybe it’ll come out late January. Or maybe early February.” So I just kept my mind off of checking the results webpage time after time and focused on schoolwork, which was particularly easy to do seeing that as soon as the 3rd day of school hit I was already thinking about so many school-related and extra curricular-related things.

Anywayyy.

I was doing this film shooting thing as an extra when my friend Chiara told me that the La Salle results are apparently out. As soon as I got home, I rushed to find the Reference Number on the copy of my exam permit and went online.

I FREAKING PASSED.

Yes, thank you Lord I have a future at least in La Salle.

So I guess I was happyhappyhappy about my result for the rest of the week (though I was quite sad, very sad about a certain someone else’s result… but that’s a different story).

On Thursday, when my dad came home from Hong Kong and started giving out his “pasalubong” to everyone, he went up to me and said, “Sorry Niki, I didn’t buy you anything.”

I blinked for a second wondering why he put emphasis on “buy.”


He then reminded me of the fact that he met with some representatives of (my all-time favorite football team ahhhhhh) Liverpool FC. Apparently he had won me something and guess what he pulled out of this ziplock bag, covered in cloth?

I literally screamed. I don’t even want to touch it again. It’s too beautiful to be touched. Deer gawd, they all signed it and touched the jersey. I want to cry.

Other than that, I passed Ateneo as well! And went out with friends to a theme park! And had fun! Good vibes, good vibes.

Congrats to everyone one who passed UST, La Salle or Ateneo as well! Now all we have to wait for now is UP. Fingers crossed.