So I apparently got a "scholarship"

Whether this email is phony or not, I decided to have some kicks and giggles. You know, amuse myself because I certainly do not have a life.

It’s funny because number one, I’m getting this email because I took the SAT. I’ve been getting all sorts of emails from colleges in America. Number two, when I “acknowledge my award”, it says “Congratulations Sylvia!” Number three, the details in the email aren’t the same as those in the website.
So I decided to reply.

Full text:


I am very honored to have received such eligibility. I’ve had a look at your school and what you offer and I must say, I would be very happy to go there. However, I realized that you are a Catholic school.

I’m so sorry to say that I recently converted to Buddhism. Does one necessarily have to be a Catholic to enter your school? I certainly hope not. I suppose it shouldn’t be a problem. After all, you couldn’t even get my name right (it most certainly isn’t Sylvia) on the page in which  I acknowledge my scholarship, which in the email you say is $7,500 per year but in the website it says something along the lines of $14,000. Now, that’s not to bad. Heck, I could by myself a new Mac Book Pro after four years of savings. But then again, my name is not Sylvia and this Sylvia, somewhere out there should know of this $14,000 annual scholarship. This concerns me.

You could have possibly shattered her dreams of going to your university, maybe even college itself, by inadvertently sending this to me.

Anyway back to my previous point. I don’t think it would be a problem either for you to accept a Buddhist because you seemed to have persisted on sending me this email, even after I unsubscribed to this. Now, I am quite frankly flattered. But come to think of it, I’ll pass. Besides. I don’t have the luxury or the money to move all the way to Miami, Florida.


Oh, c’mon. Don’t worry, for those of you taking me so seriously. Loosen up. I saved it as a draft.


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